near the cross

"The nearer I come to the cross, the nearer I come to God;

and the farther I am from the cross, the farther I remain from God."

-Andrew the Apostle

i doubt any of us, if given a choice, would choose the death of the apostle andrew. tied to a cross in the region of achaia, andrew lived on for three days. was he overcome in his suffering, barely enduring the elements, the pain, the indignation? no. the martyrs mirror records that as long as he could move his tongue he instructed those who stood near the cross in the way of truth. the words above this illustration were spoken by andrew himself, as he went to the place of his crucifixion, "with a peaceful conscience and cheerfulness."

i have been thinking lately on the need to seek God. psalm 27 tells us to seek his face. i've been trying to spend more time alone with him. to read his word more. to meditate. good things, yes.

but andrew's testimony shames me.

seems to me that andrew did not focus on the actual seeking of God. instead he sought the cross, knowing that as he took up his cross of self-denial, of death, he would find the Crucified One.

"O Lord Jesus Christ! suffer not that Thy servant,

who hangs here on the tree for Thy name's sake, be released,

to dwell again among men; but receive me.

O my Lord, my God!

whom I have known, whom I have loved, to whom I cling,

whom I desire to see,

and in whom I am what I am."

-the Apostle Andrew's last words